By Kai Curry
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY

In light of the current political climate, organizations like Right to Be, in collaboration with Asian Americans Advancing Justice, are stepping up to provide essential training to help communities respond to rising anti-Asian/American and xenophobic harassment. 

Right to Be, a nonprofit dedicated to combating street harassment, began by collecting data on these harmful incidents. This research has since evolved into critical programs that teach individuals how to safely intervene as bystanders, de-escalate tense situations, and foster inclusive environments, whether in public spaces or workplaces. Dax Valdes, a training and facilitation specialist with Right to Be, recently spoke to the Asian Weekly about his journey as an activist and the vital role bystander intervention plays in combating harassment and hate in today’s society.

In 2005, the founding board member, Thao Nguyen, had an “unsavory” experience when a man on the subway masturbated in front of her. Although Nguyen had photographic evidence, the police did not at first respond (although the man was later apprehended). In response to this shocking incident, the friends started a blog to collect similar stories. They called themselves “Hollaback.” To Dax’s knowledge, until then, there had never been a movement where people took an active stand against this kind of public, street harassment. It was seen as a necessary evil of city life. 

Dax started working with Right to Be in 2020. What he likes about the classes is that they aren’t too complicated. 

“You show up where you can and exactly as who you are that day.” The methodology is easy to remember, Dax believes. Bystander intervention training offers five quick ideas, or responses, that a person can tailor to their comfort level. Not comfortable saying something directly? There are other approaches that still make a difference. Once one person intervenes, it can catalyze others, i.e., “that person is saying or doing something, so I can, too,” Dax illustrated. “It will hopefully get people who are in ‘fight or flight mode’ to start engaging.”

Harassment, including racist harassment, “starts with commonplace behaviors” and then “escalates if we don’t check it,” Dax observed. Dax, whose parents emigrated from the Philippines, grew up in San Francisco. He had experienced racism, yet had mostly grown up around people that looked like him. Over time, though, he often felt like the only person of color and the only gay person in a group. 

“It can be really subtle,” Dax said, and talked about the day he and his friends went to a Chinese restaurant. One of the friends handed the menu, Chinese character side up, to Dax and asked him to order for the group. “I laughed [with them] because I was with my friends,” Dax said. “I know they didn’t mean to,” yet the kindest thing in this scenario, Dax believes, is to say, “Hey, that wasn’t great, that was wrong” and “hopefully, they’ll be receptive.”

In many cases, “familiarity breeds contempt,” Dax said, and the hardest conversations about harassment and setting boundaries can be with those closest to us. Whether we know the harasser or not, though, it’s difficult to come up with a response in the moment, which is where the bystander intervention comes in. The focus of Right to Be’s work, Dax said, is thinking about “how do we engage ourselves and our communities a little more critically in order to respond to harassment?” Even Dax, who has done the training and facilitated the classes, finds himself hesitating in tense moments, such as on public transportation. Recently, someone was yelling nearby on the train. “What do I do?” Dax was wondering. Understandably, anyone might sit there wondering which of the five responses from the class is best. Keep it simple. Even a nod to the victim, or asking them, “are you okay” lets them know “I saw that” and is validating.

“It can be dangerous and hard to de-escalate,” Dax allowed. Right to Be would never condone doing anything that feels unsafe. Sometimes intervention causes the aggressor to become even more aggressive, which is why directing help at the person suffering from the aggression can be a work around that also sends the message that the behavior is not acceptable. 

The five steps, or “5 D’s,” of Right to Be’s bystander intervention method are: distract, delegate, document, delay, and direct. Distract correlates to “disrupting the moment,” Dax explained. “Focus your attention and care on the person experiencing the harassment.” This can be an unrelated question such as, “Do you know what time it is?” Or you can pretend to know the person: “Oh, hey, nice to see you!” If comfortable, you can position yourself between the victim and the aggressor and interrupt the line of sight. Delegate means getting others involved; for instance, telling another bystander to notify the bus driver or call 911. 

Document is capturing photographic or video evidence. Dax is adamant in pointing out, though, that it’s inappropriate to post to social media without permission of the victim. Best to give the victim the documentation and let them decide. 

“A lot of social justice advocacy right now feels like ‘I’m going to video this and then put it on my channel.” But if the victim did not give permission, then that can be a “rehashing of the trauma for them.” Yes, individuals who share an identity might share a similar response to the harassment, yet it is still that individual’s experience, Dax said. Delay is similar to distract in that it encourages bystanders to speak to the victim and make sure they are okay, or ask what they need. Direct means “direct intervention” and is the most extroverted option, only to be used with caution, as it entails directly addressing the harasser. Right to Be suggests keeping it short and succinct, and not arguing or debating.

The 5 D’s can be found at righttobe.org/guides/bystander-intervention-training.

Right to Be offers classes in person and online, to groups of all ages, including companies and schools. Dax has been to the Seattle area multiple times for that purpose. A youth initiative developed as Right to Be asked the question, “Where are these behaviors learned?” Adults model racism and prejudice for kids and then kids practice at school and on the playground. “We’re empowering our youth to be able to speak up and say, ‘Hey, that’s not right,’” Dax said.

Right to Be’s class schedule can be found at righttobe.org/upcoming-free-trainings. The schedule for Bystander Intervention to Stop Anti-Asian/American and Xenophobic Harassment, which is conducted in partnership with AAJC, can be found at advancingjustice-aajc.org/trainings-address-anti-asianasian-american-harassment.

Kai can be reached at newstips@nwasianweekly.com.

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